SPECIAL REPORT: Solomon Looking For More Creative Ways To Turn The Ball Over

Miami (RT) -- On the heels of his impressive 7 turnover effort in the Raptors’ 103-90 loss to the Orlando Magic, Toronto point guard Will Solomon indicated today that he was working on more creative ways to turn the ball over.

“7 was good, but I think I can do better,” Solomon said, seemingly throwing down the gauntlet during the team’s shootaround in Miami this afternoon.

Speaking to reporters today, Solomon was unrepentant about accounting for almost one-third of the team’s 24 turnovers on the night. “You see, most guys in the league turn the ball over by dribbling the ball off their foot and shit like that, but I’m all about trying new shit, like pulling out a knife and stabbing the ball,” Solomon said. Looking directly into the camera, and obviously pilled-up, Solomon warned, as he made a throat-slashing gesture, “I might get out a pump and blow that shit up tonight! OBAMA!!! BOOM!!!”

Among the other ideas Solomon floated were: giving the ball AIDS; feeding the ball to the homeless; turning it into counterfeit money; deflating the ball and using it as a blunt wrap; wiping his ass with it; throwing it at Matt Devlin’s family courtside; trying to make a gun out of it; selling it; trading it for tittie-grabs from the Raptors’ Dance-pack; taking it to Queen’s Park and getting gay-married to it; and covering his eyes, like the Dee Brown no-look dunk, and then dribbling the ball off his foot.

Promising shock and awe in tonight’s game in Miami, Solomon warned “Just watch me man. If you think those dudes in the dunk contest come up with some creative shit, watch tonight. I’m going to blow your fucking mind.” Solomon reminded Toronto fans that “the longer Jose (Calderon) is out, the more fucked up turnovers you’re going to see.” “I think I can get 10 tonight man,” Solomon predicted.

When asked about Solomon’s lofty turnover ambitions, Raptors’ coach Sam Mitchell said “Man, I think this Florida air is getting to Will. This is the land of the weird. You guys ever notice how all the crazy shit happens down here in Florida? You know, beheadings, kid-touchings, voodoo -- all kinds of fucked up, CSI-type shit.” “South-Florida especially man,” Mitchell added, “this place is evil.” “I mean look, we’re on COPS right now,” Mitchell said, as he was taken away by a representative of the Miami-Dade County Sherriff’s Department. No word on what Mitchell was charged with, but speculation is that has to do with rash of panty-sniffing incidents in the Miami area.

Stay tuned to the RT Live Feed tonight for updates.